Sarah Sheard's Thoughts and Theories

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Young women dressing to look sexy

A friend asked why young girls dress so provocatively. I offered the following opinion; what do you think?

When a girl is growing up, maybe up to age ten or 12, she is told, and believes that she has a lot of power, great power. She can do anything, she is the apple of Daddy's eye, she is strong. When she's 12 she's a head taller than the boys in her class and they stay out of her way.

Within a few years the boys have caught up and are bigger than she is. Furthermore they have developed an attitude that they are better than the girls.

In my theory, this is based on thinking they're nothing if not masculine and tough, and certainly must be better than someone, how about girls? I think in part this comes from the hazing that boys do to each other; the weakest is scorned and ridiculed. The ones who come out on top believe that they MUST show their strength or lose.

From the point of view of the girls, they have lost most of the power they thought they had and would always have. The boys are bigger and stronger than they are, and could actually hurt them if they meet as equals in the games boys play. Girls also notice that most of the people who make news are male, that more than 90% of the ones in power (President, Chief of almost anything, CEOs, etc.) are male. Girls are told by the boys "We are stronger than you, we are smarter, we are better at math, we make better money, and you better not contest that."

Girls learn to downplay their intelligence, and not face boys head-on, but rather concede physical and overt strength to them.

Yet both boys and girls acknowledge that the one power girls do have over boys, and will never lose, is that the boys find them sexually attractive.
I think that the tendency to dress sexually at that age is a stab at retaining some of the power they used to have.

Do you agree?

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Productive Procrastination

One of my facebook friends mentioned this. My house is very very happy that I'm working on a PhD, because when I'm procrastinating from that I'm doing lots of "useful" things. I sew (jacket sleeves, mending, tailoring, 2 new shirts, fitted some pants etc); I clean (storage room, piles, hall closet); I shop for appliances (new dishwasher and fridge yesterday!); I garden (mulch, zinnias; pansies); I used the power washer on the deck and even sealed it, and I even built a whole new patio!

What will I ever do for motivation when I don't have a doctorate to avoid?

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Trust

You can trust someone to have the right attitude, but not the skill. "Thanks, dear, I know you mean well, but I want to call a plumber."

You can trust someone to have the skill, but not the honesty. "I know you have the ability to manage my money to my advantage, but since we're not married any more, I'd rather someone else do it."

Trust must be gained over the long haul, but can be lost with a single act of betrayal. "You used the information I gave you to get promoted over me?" "Oh but we can still be friends...you trust me, right?"

You can trust someone in some way but not in others. "Honey, you're a whiz at negotiation. Just use your GPS to get there, ok?"

Believing that your ex has your child's best interests in mind does not mean you believe he or she is capable of delivering the best care.